AlphaBetaConstitution: Reclamation of Independence

Noon Local Time, 4 August 2016, California

By:

Thomas Jefferson (via the Declaration of Independence),
Mark Twain (via his letter to the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise 4/7/1868),
Dr. Seuss (via Yertle the Turtle), &
Charles Bernarhd Bartholomew Seussian Safari Olson (editor)

When in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for peaceful People to dissolve the political Bands which have connected them with a Government, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Humankind requires that they should declare the Causes which impel them to the Separation.

On the far-away Island of Sala-ma-Sond . . .

We hold these Truths to be self-evident:

* that all People are equal,

* that they are endowed with certain unalienable Rights,

* that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness,

* that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is their Right to alter or abolish it.

They were . . . until Yertle, the king of them all . . .

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Humankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to throw off such Government. Such has been our patient Sufferance; and such is now our Necessity.

The History of the Federal Government of the United States of America is a long Train of Injuries, Abuses, and Usurpations.

“SILENCE!” the King of the Turtles barked back . . .

Our Federal Government has become a cowardly, rotten, degraded, mischievious, rotten, rotten, and unspeakably nasty nest of dynastic departments with brainless battalions of pencil-sharpening strumpets, who will in their own good time bring destruction upon this broad-shouldered fabric of ours.

“You hush up your mouth!” howled the mighty King Yertle . . .

THEREFORE: We Peaceful People, by the Authority inherent in peaceful People everywhere, do solemnly publish and declare, That

* We peaceful People are, and of Right ought to be, Free and Independent People;

* We are Absolved from all Allegiance to the Federal Government of the United States of America

* All political Connection between Us and that Government, is and ought to be totally dissolved;

* As Free and Independent People, We have the Right to live our Lives in Peace, and to do all other Acts and Things that Independent People may of right do.

And Yertle the Turtle, the king of the trees . . .
As turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be.

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The Birth & ReBirth of Law

Long long ago, in the Days before Law,

A real Need existed for Maw and for Paw.

They did have some Conflicts – They did have Disputes!

They needed a Judge with a Brain that Computes

A Harmonization resolving their Gripes:

A Just Resolution that fixes their Pipes!

And that is how Law evolved out of Thin Air

From a Need in the Marketplace – Pure Laissez-Faire!!

The Judges made Choices. The People – They paid

For the Wisdom that sparkles and never does fade.

And these Judges recorded their Judgments in Books.

If the Story stopped here, we’d have much fewer Crooks…

But Law was then claimed by a self-proclaimed King,

A dreaded Crowned Ruffian made it his thing.

Now Law is Whatever-the-Government-Passes,

You know what they pass, For you can smell the Gases!

So what can we do to reclaim our dear Law?

The solution is waiting – ask Maw and ask Paw!

They still have some Conflicts! They still have Disputes!

They still need a Judge with a Brain that Computes!

So… Offer your Services! Charge a low Fee!

In the judicial Marketplace, Land of the Free!

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